I remember a meme going around with GenZs showing what their GenX parents were doing at their age. Many of them were in their early 20s, and they showed photos of their parents getting married or having their first (even second) child. Meanwhile, they were still living at home and coming in second place at their family’s annual Easter egg hunt or rushing to finalize their list for Santa.
In my case, as a GenX pushing 50, my dad had a 20-year-old (me) and a 17-year-old. He was the head pastor and executive minister of our church. That was the year he traveled to Arizona a lot to help my grandmother as she dealt with my step-grandfather’s cancer and eventual passing, as well as her subsequent return to California.
As for my mom, she had a 24-year-old and a 21-year-old. She had been forced to retire a year before, after she had closed down the learn-and-play center she had owned and run. The administration at that time had issued a list of requirements that were unfair and very difficult for small preschools to meet (if they weren’t prepared to grease palms). In any case, her 50th year saw the fall of that very administration in a momentous event dubbed EDSA Dos.
50 is supposed to be the golden age. My birthday isn’t until the end of the year, so it’s still quite a ways away. I’m dreading it, but I have some time to change my mindset so that I can actually be excited about it.
The thing about me is that I like starting points – the first day of a new week, new month, new year, etc. Turning half a century can certainly be a similar place. And, as with other new beginnings, it carries hope and a chance to start over and reinvent myself. To get to that point, however, I need to do quite a bit of self-reflection. That will hopefully put me in a good spot for taking on the other side of 50.
I understand it’s a process, so it’s good to start effecting small changes now. What are some of the areas that need to be addressed?
- Building new habits – This should include eating healthier, prioritizing exercise, sleeping better, managing stress, making time for leisure and quality time with loved ones, etc.
- Dealing with regrets, disappointments, and frustrations – For a reset to be possible, it’s important to cut loose the baggage of the past and simply learn from it, improving judgment and increasing motivation.
- Evaluating career/occupation – Some people wouldn’t bother with just about a decade or even less to retirement. That’s why it’s important to really take a look at what takes up the majority of my waking hours. While I’m at it, I might as well review my finances.
- Reassessing aptitude, passion, strengths, and weaknesses – These things may change through time, especially after having children and going through perimenopause. It’s just smart to get to know myself again more accurately.
- Answering the hard questions – What do I need to be happy? What are the things I don’t really care about or enjoy doing? Am I willing to completely leave my comfort zone? How do I see myself and my life in five years? What are my goals, and do they align with my priorities and values?
Turning 50 can be scary and depressing, but it doesn’t really have to be. The experience will depend on some key choices – conscious or otherwise. With the right mindset, it can be something to look forward to. How do you feel about 50?
This Small Life 