With two (possibly three) kids on the autism spectrum, inevitably, my own needs are indefinitely placed on the back burner. Sleep is the first thing to be sacrificed. Other parts of self-care simply follow. Still, I have to look after myself – well enough, at least, to be able to look after others efficiently adequately.
After many, MANY years of sleep deprivation and, admittedly, other forms of self-neglect, I feel like I need a shift in routine and mentality. I’m so much older than when I started this motherhood thing. My body can’t hack the mistreatment anymore. It’s time I learn to prioritize my well-being, too. After all, my kids’ quality of life improves with my state of health, too.
I’m not high-maintenance at all. It shouldn’t take a lot for me to feel pampered. I just need to be conscious about the effort. If anybody’s going to spoil me, it has to be myself. That’s why I’ve made a list of ways to do it so I can be intentional about it.
What’s good about this list is that these are small, inexpensive – if not completely free – activities that may seem negligible but have a way of making me feel soothed and recharged.
- Get a massage. I’m not sure if it’s also easily available and affordable in other countries, but in mine, we have a multitude of options from the neighborhood to the mall, to home service providers, etc.
- The same is true for a mani-pedi.
- As well as a facial. It’s really a matter of making time for yourself. If it’s too expensive or out of the way where you are, go for the DIY alternative. You may have to ask somebody to help with the massage, or you can invest in a massage chair or device.
- Put together a relaxing bath with salts, oils, scented candles, soothing music, etc. And, this is necessary in my case: recruit your husband or eldest child to keep the younger children away from the bathroom door.
- Treat yourself to a small self-care or beauty item, such as a special soap, face cream, lipstick, or nail polish. You don’t have to be a shopaholic to be cheered by a purchase.
- Change your bedding with freshly laundered sheets, pillowcases, etc., and cocoon yourself in it with the intent of having truly restful sleep. It’s even better with really soft pajamas and fuzzy socks.
- Eat one of your “happy foods.” Reese’s peanut butter cups would be first on my list.
- Go to town on a decadent dessert. Cinnamon rolls with the works (cream cheese frosting, chocolate syrup, etc.) never fail to delight me. I can bake them myself, but if I’m feeling lazy, there’s always Cinnabon.
- Enjoy a special Christmas or birthday treat when it’s not Christmas or your birthday. Remember that scene from Community? “I shall have (suspenseful pause while ripping up the paper menu and tossing it in the air) a birthday cake!”
- Concoct a really yummy and refreshing drink (in my case, something cold, sweet, and fizzy) and take the time to savor and enjoy it.
- Have a cozy day at home and indulge in the entertainment you prefer (doing a readathon, binge-watching a series or your favorite Hallmark movies, working on an elaborate puzzle, etc.). I allow myself to do this – sporadically. I have a lot of default mommy guilt that has me *subtly* on top of my kids all the time, so I need to consciously give myself permission to step back, ensure the bare minimum (that they’re fed and bathed), and pray that nothing disastrous ensues while I read to my heart’s content.
- Go out for a leisurely stroll on a really nice day. Again, if necessary, commission your spouse or eldest child to keep an eye on the little ones while you enjoy your walk. I can’t count the number of times I’ve wanted to go for a walk by myself but simply chose not to or compromised by taking my kids along, which is not at all the relaxing activity I was hoping for.
- Do something creative that’s not really your usual artistic outlet – work on a scrapbook, write a song, paint a picture, take artsy pictures, etc. There are so many expressive pursuits I plan to try out someday. I have to consciously set out to do them or I’ll simply never get around to it.
- Watch a sunrise (or the brightening of your surroundings if your house doesn’t afford you a view of the eastern sky) while sipping your favorite hot drink. Segue into birding if you’re so inclined. If you’re like me, watching birds fly about, twittering to each other in the early morning, would be a balm to your soul.
- Pack a picnic high tea (especially suitable for those doing intermittent fasting), and drive somewhere you can watch the sunset. If you’re not up to a meal, maybe have a mocktail (you’re driving) instead.
Share if you have your own way of easily and inexpensively spoiling yourself. I’d love to get more inspiration and ideas.
*This post is a couple of days delayed as per prompt schedule, but I had started it and didn’t want it to go to waste.
This Small Life 